phoenixscorpio

ok in less than two weeks Caveman and Miku and the baby will be moving out and back to Salt Lake...i still have Jersey living with me (damned why dont i have a nickname lmfao)...and my buddy Braito will be staying with me for a couple of weeks.....im looking for a full time roommate and i know h ow hard this is going to be cuz no one likes the location....but i know plenty of people in the Ogden area so it shouldnt be impossible....my washer just took a shit today so im hopeing maybe i can find one used and cheap......im off for 2 weeks from work because i fucked up my thumb when i was trying to help Clover move this past summer...i hyper extended it and never got treatment so now its all the way up in my neckthere is actually a name for it but fuck if i can remember...it even hurts to type sometimes..and what is the deal with guys...they seem to come out of the fucking wood work when ur in a relationship...so fuckin weird!

i still have Caveman and Miku and the baby living with me and since the departure of my ex bestfriend (how corny is that shit) things have been progressing very smoothly here...i also have my new boyfriend staying here as well...my father is cool with everyone present the house is kept clean there is plenty of food here and i am quickly getting closer to getting my license and my truck up and running....there is way more harmony here than i have every imagined possible....i am still working at the local hospital and i love my job.....im part of security aint that grand?...they also have decided to let me keep my peircing and my neon red hair....thats even better...but thats because ( i believe) that they love me...im a pretty damned dependable person lol.....lately i have actually made some pretty good friends as well and im loving life...they have me on Symbyax and Seroquel....its very hard for me to be angry or depressed oh yeah no more cutting aint that just peachy! woot!.....although i seem manic at times im just so hyper its wonderful i have the energy to take care of shit and omy am i responsible too....love it....my kids are fine except for maybe Sebastian who turned sixteen in October....(man am i really that old?) but i still have hopes for him...so anyways....hope all is well for all of u out there that may read my lil blog here....

but anyways...here goes...no matter what a certain chic that used to live with me has said i still love her and dont understand the way she has behaved recently or anything...so i just thought id let those of u know (the ones that talk to her)...i never did anything negative to her....i wanted to keep our friendship going once she moved out but seems to me that she has decided against that....i never stole from her nor treated her bad ...nothing...she broke my heart with the way she spoke to me last and how she behaved when she came to my house to gather her things...in my opinion i did more for her than maybe i should have (and actually in others opinions too) i mean come on how many places will u find to live that wont charge rent just pay your share of bills and food and commodities? oh well what have i lost? a best friend...there is always another one along the way right? so this all being said if anyone has anything to say to me id appreciate it up front....

Yay! i got my complimentary (thats what im thinking!) tix last night....im so excited! and i even get to go! so that makes it even better...its definitely looking brighter around here...so here we come AoA! Clover and I are gonna fuckin' invade! now to work out the Die Sektor show....got my complimentary tix to that too! what a thrill!.....see what happens when ya help promote the shows on the air! W00T!!!!!

so its been excellent having Clover live here with me we have a lot of fun thats for sure....and now we have Caveman, Miku, her baby and John living with us as well...which...John...seems to be the one that has the bad mojo...everytime we turn around since he moved in something is breaking or going wrong....gotta fix this...

so i love my job and got a promotion...raise yeah...nice huh?

got me a pickup truck ....need a new windshield before i can drive it though...and shit i gotta relearn stick shift lol...but hey....its all good...

You are The Wheel of Fortune

Good fortune and happiness but sometimes a species of
intoxication with success

The Wheel of Fortune is all about big things, luck, change, fortune. Almost always good fortune. You are lucky in all things that you do and happy with the things that come to you. Be careful that success does not go to your head however. Sometimes luck can change.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

ive found myself a roommate...Clover moved in a week ago yesterday...its so cool i get to keep my house and my job and stay in Utah...and we have a lot of fun...even though i realize that South Weber is so farking out of the way...the middle of nowhere and all....but theres plenty of privacy and between the 2 of us we have a big 3 bedroom house and yard and all of that awesomeness...i wanna thank ya Clover for bein my roomie its just too awesome! and fun yay!.....i am working at Ogden Regional Medical Center just up the hill from here....its pretty cool...although my Monday is Friday and my Friday is Tuesday LOL....good money though...not bad hours i guess...nights...and i do holidays as well so i get holiday pay etc etc....been pretty happy lately.....miss my kids though....they left several weeks ago back to Ohio ...at least Simon & Shea did .....Sebastian was still here...but staying with my sister....then one night i get a message on MSN from him saying "hi mom im in California!" was like WTF is my fifteen year old doing in Cali! LOL here my brother in law (trucker) took him on the road with him lol....well hes been in San Francisco for the last two days which totally rocks...when i was sixteen i lived there myself for a while....so its kinda cool...my ex boyfriend Jason got into a car wreck about 7 weeks ago....when i heard about it i was informed that he might not live....my heart bout broke into a million pieces...i loved him very much...and still have some terribly intense feelings for him but let it all go when we broke up five years ago...well he is still alive...he is in a nursing home and will be rehabilitating for a very long time....but we are speaking once again and getting along terribly well....as a matter of fact me & Clover (being drunk and goofy shits) called him up in the middle of the night...and what does dear ol' Jay tell me????? "i still love u shannon!" fuck me silly .....dont do that! well at least we are still talking....its nice to have his friendship again....i do miss my babies terribly everytime i turn around i expect to see Shea or lil ol ghostly Simon standing there talking to me...the house is so quiet....(besides me and Clovers musicLOL) i miss hearing MOM! MOM! MOM! lol
so anyways....just updating whoever cares to know where my life is heading.....come on it would be cool as shit to actually talk to some of u on my friends list again LOL>....i am alive and i am well and i am kicking ass! its all good right?......who knows maybe ill get to go back to OHio for a visit sometimes in the future but till then....live life love life!gotta keep forging on...! Woot!

BTW WTF am i doing up at four am geez louise...and a stray black cat just ran thru my house LOL

my heart has broken....i feel completely empty...they have left....my babies, my children...my Shea and Simon....i have this big hole in my chest...i feel like when they left my heart left too....i cant stop the tears...they flow no matter what.....one minute i think im going to be ok then i see something of theres and i break down again....i feel like i could collapse ....fall to peices.....pass out....something...i just want to go to sleep....and not wake up cuz in my dreams im with them no matter what.....how can i feel so hollow....over the years ive felt peices of my heart just die out.....and once again it has happened....i want nothing more than to have my kids here with me....but its not to be....i completely blame my father and my sister.....my mother was wanting to live out here...keep the family together....this is where me and my oldest son live.....but all my father and my sister could do was start trouble.....cut mom down....criticize her and everything she did....if it wasnt an insult bout her weight then it was an insult about her driving or the way she dresses or how her and i were raising my babies....its my own fault that i dont have them but they are better with her in my opinion.....but we have never been apart for very long till now....and if it wasnt for my father "needing" me out here to help him with Sebastian then i wouldnt be out here..and i wouldnt be going thru this and neither would my kids....their hearts are broken as well....to see my babies cry because they have to leave me....there wasnt room for me to go back with them....i love it out here and Ohio holds way too much trouble for me.....i can go back though.....i have the chance...i want to be with m;y kids....and my mother....i am not angry with her one bit
dont get me wrong there.....i totally hold this in regards to how my father & sister have treated my mother....so please....whomever reads this...dont think its my mom ....its never my mom......she was miserable out here..my daughter missed her friends and her home.....now for Simon....he only wants to go back for a visit and come back out....but i do not thing they will be back...to much misery awaits them here.....they were out here for a lil less than a year with me.....and in the whole time i believe we squeezed in just a tiny bit of time together.....everytime i tried to plan something with my kids & mother...my sister broke in and made everything about her....she would disrupt our plans any way she could.....this past spring she had me put in jail....i admit to being drunk but her reasoning behind it was that i was supposedly dealing or whatever .....they didnt get me on anything like that and besides...im innocent....just a lil backyard bbq was what it was.....well she got angry cuz i had to piss and i was clean...she turned me into childrens services to......when mom bailed me out of jail she threw a fit....we would plan on doing something (momkidsme) and she would turn aroundand call moms cell fone every few minutes bitching that she wanted them there...mom would turn it off and then shed start calli g my fone or come over.....and dad....hes a peice of work...they are still married but havent been together since i was little....she comes out here and all he did was criticize mom & me and the kids and try to run everyones life....madde my mother completely miserable....well....i will quit bitching....

my grandmother died Wednesday....i cant go to the funeral....

PEARL HELEN PATRICK

| Friday April 27 2007, 12:40pm

April 19, 1919 April 25, 2007

WILLARD Pearl Helen (Shepherd) Patrick, 88, of Willard, died Wednesday at Firelands Regional Medical Center South Campus in Sandusky.

She was born April 19th, 1919 in Prestonsburg, Ky. to the late Jack and Molly Shepherd.

She spent a lifetime collecting and selling antiques. Her first business was Patrick’s Used Furniture, located in downtown Willard. Her expertise in the knowledge of antiques combined with business sense afforded her to purchase real estate, be self employed for more than 60 years. Pearl Antiques have traveled as far as Hollywood.

She is survived by her husband, Gomer John Patrick, whom she married Aug. 27th 1939 in Upper Sandusky and he survives in Willard at Quality Care Nursing Home; a daughter, Mary Ann (Patrick) Brooks of Utah; sons and daughter-in-law, Franklin Winston and Joan Patrick of Bucyrus, Gomer “Grover” Jr. Patrick of Sausalito, Calif., Michael H.G. Patrick of Phoenix, Ariz. and Vance Edward Patrick of Phoenix, Ariz.; 12 grandchildren, two step grandchildren, 24 great-grandchildren and two great-great-grandchildren.

Friends may call one hour prior to the funeral service at 2 p.m. Sunday in the Willard Christian Missionary Alliance Church where a dinner will follow.

Arrangements by the Evans Funeral Home, 314 E. Main St., Norwalk

and yes here it is....i dream...and the people i dream of....something happens concerning them....its happened all my life.....its neat...scary...cool....warped...wild....wrong....u name it it all makes me feel strange...premonitions? maybe....Supernatural....has to be...to strange .....

so the other night i had a dream about my daughters father...whom i need to stress that i havent talked to in five years....i dreamt....that he needed to make a fone call.....i dont know if he did or not...just that he was in my dream and had to make a fone call...thats what stands out the strongest....i even told my mother about it the next morning.....

2 days later...

the fone rings...i answer it...and theres this voice that i dont recognize...saying Shannon u know who this is....ill give u one hint..which...he said....and i knew...it was Josh....my daughters father.....the hint..he gave me....was something that we kinda have always used as a password...just a stupid phrase that i happened to say to him once upon a happier time between us...wow! five years a dream and a fone call.....now....does anyone have any thing to say concerning this?

one thing i miss about Ohio is the thrift stores we have back home where u can actually get vintage things for next to nothing.....why is it that in this area where it seems that almost everyone is concerned about there styles....i cannot find a real honest to godz thrift store? does anyone know of one? lemme know please? i really love used clothes but i hate having to pay a fortune for them....someone help?D

i won me a trip to either Anaheim, Las Vegas, or Reno my choice.....how nice for me!

that is my description of the day...out of smokes.....so now it is going sooooooooooooo slow.....

had to go to sleep had a hell of a headache and all i had was Advil PM's....so i fell to my bed sinking into it....yesssss was nice and in the background was South Park playing mutliple episodes....i love Veoh.com!......so while im sleeping i hear my MSN ding from someone messaging me....i open my eyes....and come to the computer which faces my bed....there was my Hippie Boy! woot! havent talked to him since last Friday cuz he works out of town....hes home early from St. George! yay!and i get to see him this weekend! WooT! then....a few minutes after i talk to him my family comes home...! yay! im hungry! my mommy walks in with a Big N'Tasty and McDonald's French Fries! i love meat!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! jus' call me a carnivore! so my day turned out pretty groovy folks!i think this weekend when Doug comes to stay ill make us some rare Steaks on the grill! yippee!

yes...i am having a problem lately...im getting really addicted to punk music....cant quit listening to Rancid or Dropkick etc etc etc....anything i can get my hands on....my friends the RiffRobbers play at Mojo's...i like to go....same with Juse.....but being broke....i dont get to very often....omg....i love it.....what do i do?....i cant get enuff!